doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
