Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
