You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
