Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize