I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My ATM looks so different sober.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
