yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
