Christians are straight up FREAKS
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
