Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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