The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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