The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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