Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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