I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
