theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He kissed a someone with a penis
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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