She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
