I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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