it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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