You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
