dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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