Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
