What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
