i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I love you.
Bad choice
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