Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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