y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
