This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it's great music for shaving your balls
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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