From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
