Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
