we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
