so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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