so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize