I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
