You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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