Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
