He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
