Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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