why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
accomplished twins. life is a go
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize