We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
