I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So squirting runs in the family.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
