Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
