So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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