The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
