just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
