The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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