I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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