Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
