youre lurking in front of me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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