Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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