HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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