Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
