either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
