I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
