HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize