hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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