spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
