How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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