Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
