I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
